"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert
the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other
seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be
out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and
pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure
your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small
children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50
degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we
arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than
Southwest Airlines."

found this funny as well..."I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car."