Blessed be Your Name.

time flies...

2006-01-31T10:50:00.000+08:00

The CNY break flew by so quickly... Packing my stuff now so that i can hop on the ferry and its off to Tekong for another 11 days. Field camp... Dread fills me to the brim.
I just haaaaate being confined. Feel like I could take on anything and everything they can possibly throw at us if we just got to get out of that place a little more often... Sigh.

One more try!

2006-01-05T14:30:00.000+08:00

I'm at it again... Trying to revive my hopelessly lifeless and inactive blog.. Using this post to give it literal CPR or something.
In two day's time I'll be shipped off to Tekong to start the beginning of 2 years in NS... Gotta love it. Wonder where I'll be posted to after BMT. Wonder if I'll even survive BMT. Maybe after the confinement I'll decide I'd rather not go back in and migrate to India or something. (Nearly said Thailand but then I remembered that they're chasing after me to join their army as well. So I had to choose which citizenship to give up, which took me a total of 2 seconds.)
When I was taking the pilot test yesterday, they said that I'll have to do well in BMT and get into OCS if I want to be a pilot. Like what the heck... They could't have told me that BEFORE asking me to travel all the way down to Redhill for some excruciatingly long 'computerised selection test' (5 HOURS!)
I have like almost no chance to getting into OCS la. And 3 weeks of being in a jungle in Bruei just puts me off too. But I suppose if I really get in I won't choose not to... At least the pay's good.
But anyway...... Think I did quite lousily for the pilot test la... Epecially all the coordination ones. So oh well.
Argh... I'm just so dreading the idea of being confined. 2 weeks. Then 5 days a week, everyweek. No life man. Well... No life on the outide, I mean. But on the overall, bet life will get a lot more exciting.
Notice that there's always a couter point for all the bad things I've said... That's a sign of the internal battle raging inside of me; me trying to convince myself that the Army'll be good for me. Uh-huh. *nods head*
Yawn.
The next time I blog will be in at least 2 week's time. And I'll probably have more exciting stuff to blog about.

HOME REMEDIES

2005-08-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

Hilarious la..

2005-08-26T20:29:00.000+08:00

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don said: "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"

----------------------------------------------------------

LETTER FROM COLLEGE...

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I've made lot$ of friend$ and am $tudying hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $on

REPLY FROM DAD....

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study hard eNOugh.

Love, Dad.

----------------------------------------------------------

It was
not MY
fault!

By Saralee Perel

Responsibility. Like most teenagers, I hated it.

It wasn't my fault I failed my drivers' test. I had no clue that both right
tires were on the curb until I saw that the head of the Drivers' Ed guy was
at a much higher level than mine. I got back on the road, hoping he hadn't
noticed.

But he had. "You took a curb," he said.

"But I fixed it!" We switched seats.

Embarrassed to tell anyone, I wore a band aid and said I had a blood test.

I failed the written exam on the question, "If a blind person is crossing
the road, do you:

1. Stop.
2. Reduce your speed.
3. Honk your horn.

I checked #2. The teacher said, "I see. It's OK to drive over a blind person
slowly?"

"You put that option in."

I wore another band aid.

My poor parents. I hated wearing glasses. I did something appalling . . .
three times. In class, I'd fling them in the air so they'd break upon
landing. By the third pair, Dad was on to me because my teacher caught me
and called him. I explained, "Everybody thought it was hilarious." Dad
didn't.

I used to beg them to nix a babysitter when they'd go out. Finally, they
agreed. I had 2 days to invite 24 kids to my party. When my folks came home,
the house was empty. But so was the fridge. "Mom, I was starving!" She said,
"A whole cheesecake, a whole roast, a loaf of rye?" I prayed she wouldn't
open the cabinet with the now-missing chips and pretzels. She did.

She surmised, "You had a party!" I thought quickly. "I didn't MEAN to.
Someone knocked. When I opened the door, all these kids yelled, 'Surprise!'"

During college, we were protesting something. We had "sit-ins" and skipped
classes. Apparently I skipped about 40 too many. During summer break, a
letter came, stating I flunked out.

Wordlessly, Dad handed me the letter. I stared at it and said, "Are the
tomatoes ripe yet?"

"You failed," he said.

"Dad, there's a war!"

Testing me, he said, "What war exactly?"

"THE war. It's not my fault you don't read newspapers."

They made me see a psychiatrist. A really old bearded man. Must have been at
least forty. Unbelievably, he wouldn't help me slink out of anything.
"You're supposed to help people," I pouted.

He said, "I'll help you help yourself." Phooey. So I went to summer school
and earned my unearned credits.

Now I take responsibility. Except with my husband Bob. Last week he asked me
to wash dishes.

"I'm disabled!" It's true.

"Your arms work perfectly. You milk your disability for everything."

"Like what?" I said, hoping to hear a milking idea I hadn't already thought
of.

"You name it." Darn.

"One example."

"Paying bills, returning calls, feeding pets, putting laundry away." Then an
unfortunate fact dawned on him. "You've never done one laundry." It's true.

"I can't get down the basement steps." That's true too . . . now.

"Your disability hit 2 years ago. What about the 25 years before?"

"That basement's icky. There's no microwave, TV, mini-fridge. Bob, it's
awful down there!"

"Then why should I do it all?"

"Because NOW I can't climb steps." I had him there.

Heavy sigh. "Well, NOW you can help with these dishes."

As I began shoving them in the oven, he grabbed my hand. "Help," he said,
"means wash."

As it so often occurs, a life-altering experience happened in a heartbeat. I
acknowledged my responsibility. I love this man, for heaven's sake. I
happily washed the dishes and promised to do my share of everything. He gave
me a huge forgiveness hug.

"I promise to keep my promise," I said. And I will.

But when the Reese's are gone, there's no way I'm not blaming the dog.

Kid's say the darnest things

2005-08-23T19:38:00.000+08:00

From a couple of E-mails... Compiled the few that I found exceptionally funny...

From Jen Schwint: My three-year-old daughter exclaimed very loudly at a funeral, during the moment of silence, "WHAT's IN THE BOX?" Gotta love them!

From Jennifer Raehl: My then two year old was trying very hard to remember her Bible memory verse the day of her sister's birthday party. After being prompted several times with "For God so loved...", she finally said, "For God so loved the world that He gave us cake."

From Randy Karlberg: My wife told our son "Tobin, don't walk around the house naked!" Tobin replied, "Mom, I'm not naked! I have my socks on!"

From Craig Bottomley (Australia): Many years ago when my brother was only 3 or 4 years old, our family would have a devotional time after dinner. my brother often asked if he could do the Bible reading, but being so young was told repeatedly that he couldn't because he wasn't able to read. One evening after being particularly persistent, our father suggested that he would whisper the reading to my brother and then he could repeat out loud for everyone else to hear. All went well until Dad got to the bit about "and Jesus went to Caeserea-Phillipi" (Mark 8:27), which my brother repeated as "and Jesus went to see her ear full of pie."

From Jason Tate: My son, who just turned 4, was very proud of himself for learning a Bible verse in his class at our church's recent VBS. One afternoon, our conversation went as follows:
Me: "Chris, can you say your verse for me?"
Chris: "Luke 19:10 - The Son of Man is come to seek and to save that which was lost."
I told him how wonderful he was, and then I wanted to know if he knew what the verse meant, so -
Me: "Who is the Son of Man?"
Chris: "Jesus!"
Me: "And who did He come to save?"
Chris: "The witch."

From Lindy Revell: My daughter took my 4-year-old granddaughter to visit her mother-in-law whose mother had died. On the way she was telling my granddaughter how bad it made the lady feel and was coaxing her in things she could say to this lady. She said, "You can tell her you are sorry about her mother. Can you say that?" And my granddaughter replied, "Why? I didn't kill her!"

From Rob Watson (UK): My son Jotham when he was 3-years-old was playing out in the yard. When suddenly he came running into the house clutching a lifeless bug in his hands. He held it up to my wife and exclaimed, "Quick, Mummy, its batteries have run out!"

the universe..

2005-04-29T16:23:00.000+08:00

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
~ Albert Einstein
"In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."
~ Edward P. Tryon
"I'm astounded by people who want to `know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
~ Woody Allen
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
~ Douglas Adams
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
~ Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson)

Ever wonder why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIE INDUSTRY

2005-03-10T21:42:00.000+08:00

~ Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they're employed or not.

~ At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

~ Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

~ It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts--your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

~ When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

~ Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

~ During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

~ Most dogs are immortal.

~ All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

~ It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

~ The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

~ You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

~ The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

~ A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

~ It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

~ Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

~ All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

~ A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

~ If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

~ When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

~ Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

A flashlight is a cylindrical device for storing dead batteries.

fireflies

2005-03-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

What is the deal with lightning bugs? I mean, here is this rather ordinary looking flying insect, but wait ... it has a glow-in-the-dark rear end! What was God thinking?

I'm sure science has all kinds of explanations about how this fluorescent fanny is useful for mating and other stuff, but why did God choose to make the lightning bug glow? I wonder if, when God was creating all the animals and everything around us, he came up with the idea of the lightning bug and said, "The kids are gonna love this."
We know that God loves us enough to create all the things we need to survive, but does God loves us so much He created some things just to make us smile?

Just seeing lightning bugs takes me back to those warm summer nights of my youth. I'd be running around the back yard with my empty Mason jar, racing toward the flashing lights all around me. I can still feel the joy and hear the laughter echoing through my memories. Lightning bugs were as much a part of summer as fireworks, fresh tomatoes, and big ice-cold slabs of juicy watermelon. (I also have a theory of why God made watermelon seeds the perfect size to spit, but that is another story.)

God created so much diversity in this world, much more than is needed for mere survival. He made all of this for us, and He wants us to enjoy it.

We can get so busy surrounding ourselves with man-made goods that we don't notice the living tapestry God has laid out all around us.

I guess lightning bugs do have a purpose after all. They are a reminder of a creative God who loves us so much, He'd even paint the rear end of a bug ... just to see us smile ...

2005-02-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert
the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other
seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be
out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and
pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure
your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small
children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50
degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we
arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than
Southwest Airlines."

found this funny as well..."I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car."

so old...

2005-02-04T21:52:00.000+08:00

You Are 22 Years Old

22

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

nice story...

2005-02-01T19:31:00.000+08:00

INFORMATION PLEASE

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our
neighborhood. I remember well the polished old case fastened to the wall. The
shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the
telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother used to talk to
it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing
person - her name was Information Please, and there was nothing she did not
know. Information Please could supply anybody's number and the correct time.

My first personal experience with this genie-in-the-bottle came one day while my
mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the
basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer. The pain was terrible, but there
didn't seem to be any reason in crying because there was no one home to give
sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally
arriving at the stairway...the telephone! Quickly I ran for the footstool in the
parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up I unhooked the receiver in the
parlor and held it to my ear.

"Information Please," I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear: "Information."

"I hurt my finger. . ." I wailed into the phone. The tears came readily enough
now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me." I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?"

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open your icebox?" she asked. I said I could. "Then chip off a little
piece of ice and hold it to your finger."

After that I called Information Please for everything. I asked her for help with
my geography and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math,
and she told me my pet chipmunk I had caught in the park just the day before
would eat fruits and nuts.

And there was the time that Petey, our pet canary died. I called Information
Please and told her the sad story. She listened, then said the usual things
grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was unconsoled. Why is it that birds
should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a
heap of feathers, feet up on the bottom of a cage?

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul, always
remember that there are other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone: "Information Please."

"Information," said the now familiar voice.

"How do you spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. Then when I was 9
years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much.
Information Please belonged in that old wooden box back home, and I somehow
never thought of trying the tall, shiny new phone that sat on the hall table.

Yet as I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never
really left me; often in moments of doubt and perplexity, I would recall the
serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient,
understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I
had about half an hour or so between plane, and I spent 15 minutes or so on the
phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was
doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard again the small, clear voice I knew so well,
"Information." I hadn't planned this but I heard myself saying, "Could you tell
me please how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess that your
finger must have healed by now.

I laughed, "So it's really still you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea
how much you meant to me during that time.

"I wonder, she said, "if you know how much your calls meant to me. I never had
any children, and I used to look forward to your calls.

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could
call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do, just ask for Sally."

Just three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered
Information and I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?"

"Yes, a very old friend."

"Then I'm sorry to have to tell you. Sally has been working part-time the last
few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago." But before I could
hang up she said, "Wait a minute. Did you say your name was Paul?"

"Yes."

"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down. Here it is. I'll read
it: 'Tell him I still say there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I
mean.'"

I thanked her and hung up. I did know what Sally meant.

touching..

2005-01-28T15:31:00.000+08:00

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his
80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in
a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him
take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to
see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another
patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to
one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress
his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him
if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The
gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast
with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been
there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried
if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she
had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she
doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know
who she is."

pics.

2005-01-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

Try refreshing... Each time i refresh the pics change. Don't know if it's just my retarded com or a prob with the hosting. Anyway.. Just give it a shot!

It's Time To Party

2005-01-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

It's Time To Party (excerpts)
By Mike Yaconelli
May/June 1989

It doesn't take much to make most of us realize that we have become too serious,
too tense, too stressful. The result is that we have forgotten how to live life.
It seems like the older we get, the more difficult it is for us to enjoy living.

It reminds me of a description of life given by Rabbi Edward Cohn: "Life is
tough. It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends, and what do you get in
the end of it?"

I think that the life cycle is all backward. You should die first, get it out of
the way. Then you live twenty years in an old-age home. You get kicked out when
you're too young. You get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years
until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You go to college; you party
until you're ready for high school; you go to grade school; you become a little
kid; you play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby; you go
back into the womb; you spend your last months floating; and you finish up as a
gleam in somebody's eye.

It's hard to imagine we were a gleam in someone's eye once. What happened to the
gleam in our eye? What happened to that joyful, crazy, spontaneous, fun-loving
spirit we once had? The childlikeness in all of us gets snuffed out over the
years...

..The sign that Jesus is in our hearts, the evidence of the truth of the gospel
is ... we still have a light on in our souls. We still have a gleam in our eye.
We are alive, never boring, always playful, exhibiting in our everydayness the
"spunk" of the spirit. The light in our souls is not some pietistic somberness,
it is the spontaneous, unpredictable love of life...I believe it's time for the
party to begin.

Mission Trip

2004-12-07T08:47:00.000+08:00

The trip was an eye opener...
Learnt how to be much more thankful for basic daily necessities we take for granted.
No, it's not just about air-conditioning... Proper beds... Or even drinkable water... It's much more basic than that.
Yup. Toilet doors that can close. Not lock... CLOSE.
Imagine having to bathe while holding the door shut. Or peeing with one hand outstretched, palm against the door.
Speaking of peeing... Till you've pee-ed standing next to a hopping frog, you have yet to fanthom the true meaning of a cheap thrill.
Anyway... I'm alot more thankful for just about everything I have now. No water heater? No sweat! As long as there's a 'flushable' toilet, it's a luxury! Thank God for that.
Ok... I'm losing steam here... So tired. Shall just wrap it up briefly.
Though I did realise that although the people there are lacking in so much things we take for granted... It stood out to me that they seemed alot happier than the people in Singapore.
Especially the kids. They have what Singaporean kids can only dream about. A childhood. Or an ideal childhood, what childhood was meant to be.
When a friend asked someone there if he was happy... He said he was.
Why?
"Because I have everything."
God is their everything.
The rich are people who think they have enough?
Whatever it is... They have God. They only need God. And they're happy. Education... Wealth... Power... May be important to survive in our society... But They should be used as tools for survival... Not routes to happiness. For if you use them as routes... You'll never find happiness at the end of it. God is all you need. In any and every society, culture and living condition. He is universal.
Ang diyos nati Mabuti.

-Blog closed-

2004-11-03T17:11:00.000+08:00

Most of the stuff I've been writing here is crap. Things that don't matter much to me. Thing that matter to me... Well, aren't for the eyes of strangers. I'm just writing for the sake of writing. Shall end it off here till the motivation to write comes back one fine day.

bored..

2004-11-01T14:05:00.000+08:00

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Enthusiasm	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Confidence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Volatility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Impulsiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	61%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	55%

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Stonning

2004-10-27T17:26:00.000+08:00

PW sucks. And that's an understatement.
And for the record, I'm dreading next week. And the week after that.
But this week's been great... =)
Life would be so much easier if I could just make a decision on where to head. Darn.
For that matter, many things would be easier.
Instead of just "hanging".
I sooo want things to work out.

Oh yeah... Before I forget again... Class Blog =)

Waiting...

2004-10-24T19:30:00.000+08:00

"1 message received"... C'mon... When are u gonna pop out...
Man, its only 2 days this time... You're gonna feel soooo crappy the next time...

Sick

2004-10-22T10:22:00.000+08:00

Came down with flu... Skipped school yesterday and today. Stayed at home but Wernie and today Josh too, came over to relieve my boredem. Haha.
Realised I've practically run out of things to blog. Or things I'm willing to expose to the prying eyes of people I don't know well. Maybe I'll shift the blog to a new location. Maybe. Or I could just switch on my 'heck care' mode and not give a damn. I mean, the things we blog about may seem important to us... But they're not. It's just some form of entertainment. Maybe slightly more 'real' entertainment. Like reality TV.
SiGh... I'm bored.
Read on a friend's blog quite a while back that blogging influences the way you think. I agree. So to those who are wondering, that's why I've stopped blogging about certain things. So I can be sure of how I feel and not delude myself in fantasy.
Anyway. Was thinking... And I realised that if my life now had been revealed to me a few years back... If God had told me this is what I would be like in year 2004... These are what I would have... It would have seemed too good to be true. But now, when I'm living it... It doesn't seem that great. Of course.. There are exceptions.

Promos...

2004-10-21T08:20:00.000+08:00

D E A D. How apt. Haha. Damn.

Looking back.

2004-10-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

When out with some old classmates in the afternoon. It was great catching up with old friends. Hearing jokes of that unique 'frequency' I used to hear so often. Had lunch at our usual place and went to play LAN. The usual 'suanning' and being 'xialan'. I miss those days. A perfect example of how we tend to take things we have for granted till we lose them.
We leave people behind in our past I guess. Some we wish we never had to... Or never will have to. But its one of those irritating facts of life that happen so often but yet no one can do anything about it.
And PW sucks. So what if we'll need the experience in handling projects in the future. We actually have get through JC first...? Like having 80% of the time we spend awake in school isn't enough... We have to meet outside school for PW? Most students actually would like having a life you know (suprise, suprise?).

Sian.

2004-10-15T13:42:00.000+08:00

I'm having fun now... I guess. But there's thi nagging feeling at the back of my mind that keeps thinking of it ending soon. PW deadlines... Chinese A's... A month's break... Then the dreaded J2 year. And right after the A's I'll be whisked away to some secluded place to endure barbaric botak morons screaming their lungs out when you show a level of intelligence greater than the miniscule amount of which they possess.
My life sucks.
Of course there are the many things I look forward to in life... Many things that keep me going. But sometimes... When you're kept away from such things... Or even in the time in between such things (like now as I'm preparing to meet friends for pool)... These things seem amazingly insecure.. Fragile. Of course God's always there... Strong, steadfast... There's always hope. But it gets hard sometimes.

Happy happy...

2004-10-14T19:55:00.000+08:00

Ok, I've no idea why I'm so happy. Have a huge stack of PW minutes to de-code, rephrase, type and fake. Crap. Typing this now to take a breather.
Past few days have been great... Besides having to go to school nearly every mornig when its supposed to be a BREAK (PW sucks. And a we learnt from it... Here's Some evidence )... But the afternoons have been great =)
Oh yeah... And yesterday's swimming (playing water, I meant) was fun too. Hopefully if the open house preparation crap doesn't drag for too long tomorrow, will be able to swim (play water) again.
Happy happy...

Post Promos

2004-10-11T19:29:00.000+08:00

Past few days have been great... Excluding this pathetic morning where I wasted the ENTIRE morning in school doing crappy PW. Have another meeting tomorrow morning. PW is a total waste of time. I'd gladly give up the lousy 10%.
Yeah... But oh well, school life is always crappy. At least I have my outside life back. And everything outside school's been great so far! Exams teach you to appreciate such things.

Its over! Sigh of relief... And I'm back.

2004-10-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

Okay, maybe not to fully (thanks to cheena A's and that dumb PW)... But I welcome my life back anytime, no matter how gradually.

Couple of things I learnt this week from school:
1. Watching a bird shit can be exciting when you're deprived.
2. Making careless mistakes is a priviledge.
3. I is a complex number.
4. I is gonna fail maths.

And its back to church again tomorrow!! WEE!!

Think I'm falling sick.

2004-10-02T20:00:00.000+08:00

Damn. Now of all the times. Tried taking a nap... Woke up and woah... Head felt like a pound of lead.
So darn disappointed... Mom's been telling me I could go to church tomorrow... Now the night before she just thrashes the thought out the window.
Hope is a weakness others exploit.
So need someone to talk to now. But she hasn't replied... And everyone else is in church. Crap. So here I am... Ranting away to a brick wall. (yeah, that means you people who read this blog 'oh so secretively' without posting any comments)
"1 Message reveived"... Been hours... When are u gonna pop up...
I'm gonna konk out soon... Can't take it.

I'm back.

2004-10-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

Broke through. The insufferable ceiling of depression and boredem is below me.
Woke up late today. Really late. Ate breakfast... Took a look at my table and smiled. FOr the first time in ages, a real smile. Then I walked out.
Did some work... Really little work. But seriously... Still doesn't bother me. And I'm not gonna try bothering no more. I'm just gonna sit through the remaining 7 days without bothering.
Coz... I'm back!

8 days.

2004-09-30T20:04:00.000+08:00

Just 8 days... 8 days more... Argh... Its not like I'm gonna do well, just get me through this. I need the air outside the cage.
Damn I'm tired. I'm tired when I go to bed and I wake up feeling tired. I wake up tired for goodness sake.
Today's GP was crap. Not like I didn't expect it to be... So what the heck.
Just need it to be over... 8 days.
On a brighter note... I'll finally get to see her when it's all over... Haven't seen her in ages.
Is might be just me... But it seems like eveyone around me is suddenly finding life meaningless.
Life is tough... I guess. But we have to pull through one way or another.

Crash And Burn

2004-09-23T21:23:00.000+08:00

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

To a treasured friend I'm sorry I had to hurt...

Closing in fast

2004-09-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

Just realised its about 8 days to Promos... And I'm not even halfway through revision! But somehow I still seem quite slack... Haha. Its not bothering me, nah... not even a little. There's something seriously wrong with my stres level. And usually when people say that, its too high.
I actually NEED stress! I'm feeling so weird... Haha.
If I don't at least get decent grades... Don't even want to think about what will happen.

Slack

2004-09-18T11:46:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be making full use of my Saturday to catch up with work. Yeah, sure... I'll do that the moment I'm no longer lazy. (Like... Never?)
Almost an entire year's passed! This year seems to have passed to quickly. Is it the tiring long hours of JC life or the 1st 3 months of non-existent work or the busy weekends (back before the exams came when I still had a life)? Whatever it is... This year's passed really fast. Seems like only yesterday when making it into a JC seemed impossible... And now my first year in VJ's almost over. Sometimes I feel that I would be alot happier getting less tha average grades... No pressure... No expectations from others (parents in particular). Like my brother... Man, a month from PSLE and he still gets to hog the com for hours in a row. Ok, I'd probably be some nerdy loser by now if I'd stayed in TJ... But if I'd done worse and went to... Maybe TPJ (Not MJ... Poor people there probably suffering worse than RJ)...?
Don't know... So many 'What if's... Why did anyone tell me last year that being in a good JC doesn't matter.

Pounding in my head

2004-09-17T15:32:00.000+08:00

Ouch. Major headache. Predict I won't be doing any more work for today. The weekend's here. Weekends used to be something I looked forward to throughout the week. Now I'm... Indifferent. Instead of studying in school, I'll be studying at home. Woah, change in environment is really exciting isn't it. Right.
Got back our Chem lec tests... Did fairly well... Its ironic that I got an A for the first test I've passed sice entering VJ. But somehow... Indifferent. Months ago I would have been really happy... Now it just doesn't seem to matter. Yeah, I was moody that day... But somehow... I've noticed results don't seem to matter as much to me anymore. 12 days to Promos... Everyone's studying so hard... But I don't feel stressed. Not one bit. Usually I start getting stressed alot later than others... But THIS late?
Feeling like I'm caught in a cage and I can't break out... I need OUT. Getting more jaded by the day. I need to unwind... I want to go to church... I want to go for mission training... I want to go swimming... I want to spend time with friends... Spend more time with a special someone... Why is everyone counting down to the start of Promos... I only care about the end... 20 days and counting.
A friend of mine was telling me he found life saddening. His life was a mess and the lives of the people around him were a mess. Till then... I've always been telling myself that no matter how screwed things seemed... There would always be a reason... There would always be something else more ultimate to live for. Lately that hasn't been a great enough motivation... And I suppose my Mom keeping me from church isn't helping... So when the feelings are gone, its time to rely on faith. Which I lack.
Mom said if I don't do well for Promos, she won't let me go for the mission trip. And I'll have to go to her church instead from next year onwards. Threats don't motivate me. They depress me. Especially threats that remove my main sources of motivation.
I'm tired... I miss church... I miss going out... I miss her. Get me through this.

What's important in life? Has there ever been a tombstone that said 'I wish I could have worked more'?

Hands and feet Audio Adrenaline

2004-09-13T14:07:00.000+08:00

An image flashed across my TV screen
Another broken heart comes in to view
I saw the pain and I turned my back
Why can't I do the things I want to?
I'm willing yet I'm so afraid
You give me strength
When I say

I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet
I'll go where you send me
I'II go where you send me

And I try, yeah I try
To touch the world,
Like you touched my life
And I find my way
To be your hands

I'll abandon every selfish thought
I'll surrender every thing I've got
You can have everything I am
And perfect everything I'm not
I'm willing,
I'm not afraid
You give me strength when I say

I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet
I'll go where you send me
I'II go where you send me

And I try, yeah I try
To touch the world,
Like you touched my life
And I find my way

This is the last time I turned my back on you
From now on, I'll go
So send me where You want me to
I finally have a mission
I promise I'll complete
I don't need excuses
When I am your hands and feet

I am your hands and feet

.:2015.120904::.

2004-09-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

During Sunday school today... The topic was "Courage for ministry"... When I heard that I nearly laughed out loud. God works in wonderful ways. Freaky ways.
Anyway... Felt quite down over the past few days... Much better now... Thanks to YOU! And a BIG thank you to all the kind people who gave me advice over the past few days! Thank God for friends like you.

Time Flies

2004-09-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

The one week break is almost over and its back to school soon... Ok, wasn't much of a break but hey... Beats school anytime. I'm sooooo gonna flunk the promos...

See, Speak, Seize...

2004-09-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

Spiritual and secular... Heart and mind... Test tube or turn-table...?
Kneeling on the floor... Eyes closed... Tears forming... Heart pumping... Faster... Faster... Faster... A voice said "God will call you to do great things for him... But you will lack the courage."

Din't kow who it was. Didn't tell anyone about it. 6 months later...

"Some of you here have been called by God."
Heart beats faster... Excitement? Fear? What's this feeling?
"You know who you are, you can feel God speaking to you now."
Crap. No, you can't be one of them. It's just your imagination.

"Come up... Those of you who feel like God has called you."
This feeling of realisation. Realisation of what, I don't know. Heart beats faster... Faster... Faster. Hands are shaking... "Get up... Get up..."
"Wait... Wait for someone I know to go up first..."
"Get up... Get up..."

I got up.

Someone prayed for me. Ok.. That was cool... Phew.

Kneeling on the floor... Eyes closed... Tears forming... Heart pumping... Faster... Faster... Faster... A voice said "Walking past you, God gave me a vision for you..."
It was the ang-moh pastor... Oh no... Oh no... Not me... Not me...
"Have you been prayed for?"
*nods*
"Are you a musician?"
*sort of nods*
A turn-table... Those antique record players... Spining... Spinning.
He said it represents something God wants me to do... Something I can't imagine myself doing. It also represents a revolving lie... Round and round... By the devil... "You're not good enough... You're not good enough..."
Well... The lie's working.
Throughout the course of this year... The sudden wanting of something more to life... Of something out of the ordinary... Even the sudden interest in Theology... My uncle's casual suggestion of taking bible night classes during NS... And this... feeling. Told myself it was just a passing phase... Even imagiation.
From a certain view... It seems so... Arranged. So confirmed. Yet from another...
I was about to type "so many loop-holes" when I realised I couldn't find any.
But I get this feeling that there are...
Am I deaf to You? Am I unwilling? Is that why I come up with ways and means to explain everything practically?
To take the path I was raised to take... Or the path I was born to take?
I have seen... And I've finally said. But to seize..... ?

Spin...sPin.........spIn.

2004-09-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

So much on my mind. So much happened over the past few days. Good or bad... Can't decide. I need a medium to channel my thoughts... Someone wiser... someone who can give me advice... Not textbook advice like 'pray and ask for faith' but tailored advice. Any takers? Haha. Right.
I need faith... Why is it that I can come up with all kinds of excuses instead of just accepting it? Why is it so hard... The right thing to do is clearly obvious... Doing it is another. It's like taking a leap off a cliff with a rope attached. I've survive it... But dare I make the jump? I need fAiTh. I can't see myself doing what you say I'll do... You warned me that I wouldn't believe... And I don't. So... What now?

Testimonial

2004-09-03T14:16:00.000+08:00

Since Judith 'motivates' people so effectively... Finally took some time off to write the testimonial...

A picture paints a thousand words... But a life paints more. I don't think what God has done in my life can be expressed through word or speech. Though, of course, this may be partially attributed to my extremely limited vocabulary.
But since we were so 'strongly encouraged' to submit our testimonials, I shall try my very best and pray that God guides me along.
Born and raised in a Christian family, I've not experienced any dramatic 'divine interventions' in the course of life though there are a precious few significant events in which God has gracefully permitted me to experience for much needed boosts in my passion for him.

- Coming to Zion Gospel Mission church in 2000
- Baptism on 26th August 2000
- The many church camps
- Synergiz Youth Conference

The youth conference brought me much closer to God and gave me a better understanding of his word and his guidance in my life. I felt a passion for God like I never had before. A passion to serve him and to worship him in my daily life. The 40 days of Purpose Driven Life campaign came aptly timed after the youth conference. And along with that came the opportunity for me to serve Him through the worship ministry. Everything seemed so perfectly planned to draw me close to him within that particular time-frame of a few months. The wall I felt between Him and I broke down and the many bad habits I had just evaporated effortlessly and better ones took their place. Simple things like doing daily devotions no longer seemed such a chore and computer games that tore my mind and time so frequently away from Him in the past no longer seemed so appealing. He had gracefully removed the first few obstacles between us and given me the stepping stones to a life I could dedicate to him.

But for a baby to grow up, he cannot learn by being pampered.

As I decended down the peak of passion, adversities seemed to grow higher. For a moment, I felt as if God felt so far again. But of course, its not always about 'feelings'. Contrary to what I felt, He was there, omnipresent... omnipotent. He guided me with the many timely sermons on Sundays about overcoming trials, gaining maturity and dealing with temptation. "Be positive in the face of trials...", "No temptation has seized you except what is common to men........ so that you may stand up under it. -1 Corinthians 12:13". He taught me how to use my sword against the enemy. He gave me sources of motivation to get me through the monotony of school work, "Whatever you do...... - Colossians 3.17and 23". Even while I doubted, God was there for me, reminding me that trials were always present... Just that they were essential in making us more like him. They taught us to be dependent on him. Standing upon the mountain of God, those trials would seem far away... minute... amazingly insignificant.

Jaded

2004-09-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

4 weeks from the dreaded Promos. Haven't started revision. Everything and everyone seems to be moving so fast... I'm just a blur in the background of a hectic society. Don't feel the stress... Feel real slack... Why? Good question... I don't know either.
I feel like just giving up... Can't I just be a good-for-nothing bum...?

Teacher's Day [eNeRgIzEd]

2004-08-31T16:32:00.000+08:00

Went back to TJ to see Mr Desai... Then TMS for the rest of the teachers. Saw quite a couple, met up with old friends... Went for lunch to celebrate Gladwin's birthday... Loitered around with the old gang. Tired. But the part of the day I've been looking forward to the most is yet to come...!
Suddenly I feel like I'm back at the begining of this year. Days are busy and tiring yet fun-filled and packed with overlapping happenings. Not a thought nor guilt related to studying. This time will be just for one day. But yeah... Thank God for the subtle reminders of how fun life can be. Its no wonder there are exams in a teenager's life... Without them, we just might enjoy this temporary home on earth a little too much.

All of my Days

2004-08-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Does maturity really come with age? What's maturity anyway?
A textbook answer would be to place others before yourself... To be positive in the face of trials. Sign of maturity would be a prayerful life... With prayers for others and not yourself.
How about the secular definition of maturity?
Adults are more mature than youths. Pardon me... But by whose standards?
Do adults know what they're doing any more than youths... Really? Why does the decision of an elder hold greater importance than that of a youth? Just because they're older proves they're wiser? Society's views are so amazingly stereotypical that it in itself is immature.

.:1432.280804::.

2004-08-28T14:24:00.000+08:00

Taking a break from Chem... Having family dinner later. Time seems to have passed so quicky since the last one. Ha it been a month already?? Sure doesn't seem like one. A whole month closer to Promos... I'm still as slack as I was back then. Someone smack me please.
Wonder what they're doing for mission trip traiing today. Still thinking of whether to go for the earlier mission trip. Then I'll be back for Sid's birthday. Like haven't spoken to him in ages. Then the time in December will give me some time to spend with certain friends before the dreaded A'level year starts. And, idealistically thinking, sort out some work. There's no way I'm gonna do any work in November right after Promos... Which means I'll be very busy when we get back on the 16th. Logically speaking... Should go for the earlier one... Then get back on 3rd... Have a few weeks free. But the 2nd one's longer... And I wanna claim CIP hours. And so few people are going for the 1st one. Hmmmz... What to do? Guess I'll have to check how many hours I can claim before brooding any further.

.:2258.270804::.

2004-08-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

Phew... The week's finally over. Still brooding over whether to mug for the Chem lecture test on Monday. It's sooo NOT like me to even care about a test. Just a TEST!! If my secondary school friends know I'm even THINKING about mugging for it... 50 bucks says they'll die of amusement.
Maybe I'm finally leaving old habits behind... Adjusting to the new environment... Waking to the reality that I'm no longer in a substandard neighbourhood school. The past few months have shown me that in VJ, one actually has to STUDY to get decent grades. Yup... The good old days of aceing a test by studying for it the break before are gone.
Remind me again why I mugged so hard for the O's? Isn't it the A's that matter? I'd probably be slacking away in TPJ, enjoying my J1 if not for the unexpectedly decent grades I got for O's. Why the heck was I so happy about that? Why didn't anyone tell me when I was in Sec 4 that it didn't matter?
The time I spent contemplating about which JC to go almost seems hilarious now. Why didn't anyone tell me it didn't matter? 4 A's in SRJ or 4 F's in RJ... Which is better?
Still... Thank God I found a JC I felt comfortable with... And didn't get stuck in nerd-mugger land TJ.
Or maybe the stress of the Promos is finally getting to me. Giving me the motivation to work hard. Maybe.
This week has been relatively happening though. Read once in a friend's blog that things in life come when you least expect them. Yup... GOtta agree with that. Things happened this week... Both good and bad... The bad thing could have turned out different... Had it happened a month or so ago. But then the other good thing wouldn't have happened. For that, I thank God.
I'm not making sense am I?
Oh well... Anyway, its for me to know and you to not find out.
Whatever it is... To someone I hurt... I still treasure our friendship, and I hope you're not still angry with me.

Hillsongs - All Of My Days

2004-08-25T16:07:00.000+08:00

This song popped up in my head out of nowhere on the way home... Slow songs don't normally appear in my mind and go on repeat mode... Usually its the fast jumpy ones. So anyway, I was still humming it after getting home... Went online to download "All day" and "Forever" (been planning to download those 2 songs since Monday when Sheldon said they were nice)... Typed in "All Day" and 3 sources appeared... All 3 for "All of my Days"... No "All Day"! Weird. Since the song was still playing in my head, I figured I might as well download it and listen to a proper audio track instead of one stuck in my mind.
Nice song... *Looks up* Are you just placing little coincidental incidents in my day to make it less boring or does this actually mean something?

Hillsongs - All Of My Days
Proclaim Your awesome power
Tell of mighty deeds
Declare Your future kingdom
Of everlasting peace

And my eyes they look unto You always
And I am captured by Your Majesty

All of my days
I will sing of Your greatness
All of my days
I will speak of Your grace
All of my days
I will tell of Your wonderous love
Your love in my life
Your love

All Your works will praise You
Your children bless Your name
We speak of all Your goodness
We walk in fields of grace

.:2152.230804::.

2004-08-23T21:44:00.000+08:00

Came online today for some PW discussion... All of us had no energy left to do it i the end. So here am... At this page that seems so distantly familiar. Its like starting to play a really old computer game all over again.

I realised that I've been getting more numb towards being kept from church activities. Its like... I feel disappointed. For about 30 seconds. Then it fades. I guess I've learnt not to look forward to it anymore. But now I'm going through the week like a lifeless zombie... Each week passes... And promos draw nearer... Dreams of taking S'papers fading with every passing day.

And I don't really care.

I mean... Yeah, I'm trying to pluck up... Get my act together and psyche myself into solitude and 'nerdiness'... But I'm just doing that because I HAVE to. I don't care.

Unless studying is something God wants me to do?

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

That source of motivation doen't work. Not for me. I wish it did. I pray everyday that it will.

Well... At least there's something new happening in my life... Something I can look forward to. Though its a gamble... A month from promos... It's stupid, but I'm gonna take it. It's the only source of motivation and inspiration I have left.

I don't understand why everything has to be based on results. All parents don't want their kids mixing around with gangsters and drug addicts... Ok, I get that... But just because their academic results are not as acceptable as mine? That's a real lousy excuse to keep me from church.

If anything, I'll be with them anytime, anywhere, over any other friends. Because I feel free being with them. For a few deluded hours, work is the last thing from my mind and I'm free. I envy them. They remind me of a life free from the expectations of others. Yeah, I'll do what you want. I'll probably thank you when I get a good job in the future. But right now as the immature, stubborn, freedom-starved teen I am, I'd rather quit.

.:2231.210804::.

2004-08-21T22:24:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... o0kay...

obsessive compulsive

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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I have to make it...

2004-08-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

Been really slack this week. Plan to make up for it over the weekend. In fact, I'll have to start mugging soon or my Promos are screwed. And so are whatever chances I have of taking S papers. However puny the chance... I still have to try!
Yep... So I've made a decicion. I will work hard. I will work hard. I will work hard. I will work hard. I will work hard. I will work hard. I will work hard.
And I'll come back on Sunday night and tell you if I worked hard.
Thinking of quitting the worship ministry for a while. I believe I can juggle studies and church. Mom doesn't. Will pray about it.
Its amazing how she can have such exaggerated overestimations of my academic ability and yet have so little faith in my ability to juggle work and a life.
Positive in the face of trials. Positive in the face of trials. Positive in the face of trials.
Yup... We don't know why God lets us go through the problems we face... But someday we will know. Then it won't seem so bad anymore. It's like a parent forcing a kid to study so he can 'get a good job' and he doesn't get what addition and subtraction has got to do with fighting crime or flying to the moon. But the parent does... And in all desperation to simplify and explain it, the child still doesn't. So we just have to trust God... For he knows much more than we do. You know what u want to be when you grow up. He knows what you will be.

Slack

2004-08-10T13:10:00.000+08:00

When you lose your edge and drive in life... When work seems so much harder and negative thoughts keep enveloping your mind... What do you do?

Drop it all. Take a break.

Are results that important? To me they're not. Some say we all get only one shot at studying. So the only way to ensure that you don't regret anything in the future is to do your best now right?

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Colossians 3:17
Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Sidetrack: "giving thanks to God the father through Him." What does it mean by 'through him'? Why not give thanks to God directly?

I've never done my best at anything before. I'm a lazy person. I thank God for the grace he's shown me. Doing your best is possible. Hopefully I'll be able to do that someday. But the question most ask is... What if your best isn't good enough?

Well... If God wanted you to do something... He would make sure you had the ability to do it, wouldn't he? At times we think we've done our best... But have we really?

If you pass a single person on the street without stopping to share the gospel with him/her... Are you doing your best? If you go a single second without thinking about God... Are you doing your best? If you start daydreaming during service and miss a few sentences of what the preacher has to say... Are you doing your best?

Doing our best... Humanly. But God set a standard for us hasn't he? If he wants us to reach that standard wouldn't he have made it possible? Humanly? Yup... Jesus was human.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out, that you may stand up under it.

So before God decides to let the sneaky devil put voices in our heads, he actually ensures that we already have to strength to ignore that obnoxious moron.

So are any of us doing our best really?

"CATS"

Which Broadway Musical Are You?

Reminds me of Youth Camp a few years back... Lolx.

Phew.

2004-08-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

Been out early from morning till midnight the past few days. Left Vic's place early today... Got home at 10.15. Suppose ZGMights are still there... since Theodore just called me to ask about his phosphorous or fluorine thingy. Had a great time with the ZGMights over the 5 day break... But I suppose when school starts it'll be time to start mugging again. Playing hard is easy. Working hard isn't. But its possible... Yeah.

A B C's TO LIVE BY

2004-08-07T08:54:00.000+08:00

Couple of people have sent me this e-mail... Thought it was vey meaningful.

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!"
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution
is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.
Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.
PS: GOD LOVES YOU...

Loud.

2004-08-06T20:11:00.000+08:00

This could make a really powerful Christian song...

ALIVE By: POD
Everyday is a new day
I’m thankful for every breath
I takeI won’t take it for granted (I won't take it for granted)
So I learn from my mistakes
It’s beyond my control,
sometimes it’s best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love (So I trust in love)
You have given me peace of mind

Chorus:I, I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can’t deny you
I feel so alive
I, I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face (Sunshine upon my face)
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside (tell the world how I feel inside)
Even though it might cost me everything
And now that I know that it's beyond my control
It's like I can never turn my back away
And now that I’ve seen you (and now that I see you)
I can never look away

Bridge:Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I could never look away)
Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I believe no matter what they say)

Did yet another quiz... Just to pass time...

You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time
alone but do like other people's company
sometimes. You just need your space. You have a
few priviledged friends who saw past your
colder exterior to find the true you. You can
have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to
admit it) so you could be soft one second then
storming around the next! But over all, you're
a very pleasant person once people take the
time to get to know you. You're a good friend
for in-depth talks. You're very talanted when
it comes to creative things.

What season are you?

And another... To pass more time...

No body is perfect. I am nodody, therefore, I am
perfect...........................................................who
were your parents? Barbie and Ken? you're a
sweetheart and compassionate and maybe a little
naive but it's only the mean people that take
advantage of you're sweet nature. you make so
many people happy, your like a walking teddy
bear. willing to give someone a hug whenever
they need it. don't let others put you down
about your attitude on life.

What quote should I give you?

Nostalgia

2004-08-05T20:15:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged in a while. Almost a week actually. Tomorrow's half day! Followed by a looong weekend! Plus, my Mom's not going to be in Singapore! So I get to do whatever I like, whenever I like. Woo! Lolx. Plan to catch up on my work and yet have fun playing and studying. My way!
Nostalgia. Yup. Went to Century Square today to get a haircut. Passed by the Interchange-Telepark Mac. Man... The place looks so much better compared to last year. When we used to have lunch there almost every weekday. Peeked in, hoping to see some familiar faces. None. That would be quite impossible a year ago.
Remember to good old days when life seemed so carefree and time was all we had. We didn't need meal time to eat. We would just eat there after school. Whatever time that was. Even at 5 where we would eat and chat, then go home hand have dinner at 10pm. Lolx. The whole Tampines central was our turf. I would always run into people I knew whenever I was there. Loitering to pass time, taking hours to decide a place to eat (if the Mac was full), going round to the same sports shops... Been there, done that. And I miss it. I miss eating and chatting at Mac for hours after school. I miss studying together in the library. I miss poning lessons to study on our own. I miss poning lessons to play pool. I miss my carefree life. I miss my gang of friends. Sure, we were a bunch of immature kids determined to make it our way. Without the school or teachers. Sitting at the back of the class crapping throughout lessons and making fun of teachers. Ponned lessons, ponned remidials... And any events the school had. Got into loads of trouble, but it was fun. Really fun. Like my JC classmate says, 'never let school interfere with your education.'
Only met the whole gang once this year. Met one or two of them over the course of the holidays, but never the whole gang. All the lame jokes no one else would understand and suan-ing of others, the fun we had will never be experienced in completion again, I suppose. Plus, we're never going to be that close again. Given that all of them are in TPJ and I'm the only one in VJ... Suppose that pushes the gap further for me.
Two years ago life seemed so much easier. Studying seemed so much easier too (or whatever amount we studied... Plus, I was planning to go to a Poly). I regret not treasuring the friends I had so much fun with. I regret taking for granted the carefree life I had. I regret not using the huge amount of free time I had to get closer to God. I regret that I was the only Christian in gang and I'm still the only one. For I ever tried hard enough.
Going back to Sec school tomorrow. More to see my friends than the teachers. The only memories that are worth keeping about my secondary school life are of my class and the friends I made. Nothing about the school itself. Sitting at the back of class, making fun of teachers and refusing to do our work, craping lame jokes, stifling giggles, that senario will never play anywhere again, but in our memories.
Reading Joy's blog and thinking about the past... Reminds me to teasure these 2 years I have with my JC class. 2 years seems so short. Too short.

I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile.
Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away
I let mine out, and chatter all the while.

I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day
Is any day that's spent without a friend,
With nothing much to do or hear or say.

I like to be with people, and depend
On company for being entertained;
Which seems a good solution, in the end.

What Poetry Form Are You?

Force = Mass x Acceleration

2004-07-31T12:54:00.000+08:00

Supposed to be studying for the econs test on Monday. But there's this undeniable force that's keeping my mind fixated on the computer.
F=ma. Where F is the attractive force of the computer o my mind. Assuming that the acceleration of my mind is constant till around 11pm when it decelerates, F is directly proportional to m. M being the mass of my Econs notes. Since m is relatively large, I can safely conclude that F is large.
Since I haven't gotten any work done, and work done= net force x distance, it is evident that that net force = 0 Newtons since the distance is a constant (5 metres, the distance between the room and my computer). Since net force is 0N, it proves that the resistive force produced by my mind is equal to the the attractive force of the computer on my mind.
Which goes to show that the bee hoon I ate for lunch provided me with apporximately 1843.46kJ of energy (rounded off to 2 decimal places).

Just for you

2004-07-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

Just for you by Lionel Richie

Golden days, life was play
Pain was all a world away
We went to school, we learned the rules
We trusted all they had to say.
Then life took a turn
We all had to learn
And we can't go back again

And my heart is breaking
Just for u, just for u
And my arms are open
Just for u, just for u
Just for... u

God was god, dreams were dreams
Life was all big and I scream
Truths were true and lies were lies
We thought love would never die
But the world moved on
My illusions gone
And I don't know who to blame

And my heart is breaking,
Just for u, just for u
And my arms are open,
Just for u, just for u
And these tears I'm crying
Are for u, just for u
Just for... u

I'm looking for protection
Give me shelter from the storm
I just hope this light inside me keeps me strong

And my heart is breaking,
Just for u, just for u
And my arms, they're open,
Just for u, just for u
And these tears I'm crying,
Are for u, just for u
Just for u
Just for u
And I feel like crying,
Just for u, just for u
My heart is breaking,
And my arms are open,
And these tears I'm crying,
They're just for u,
Just for u
Just for u
Just for u.

Glimpse of a VJ classroom

2004-07-29T19:42:00.000+08:00

Red-To guy on my left
Blue-My own thoughts

Physics lesson.
Study this diagram by fresh mahcowmedea (flash macromedia)... When velocity is high enough, the brain will fry away (plane will fly away).

This is boring. Time for a cheap thrill.

I'm just doing this to irritate the person on my left.
(Person on my left writing...) *scribble scribble* "When happens when logic and emotion clash," he says. "Logic wins."
Ah, I see.
*scribble scribble* "More often than not, emotions rule"
Hmm... That's true.
"Damn, you're irritating."
Ok, lets not side track shall we?
*scribble scribble* Logic always wins.
Wah seh! One sentence paragraph siah! Got italics for extra impression somemore!
"Hahaha... You're freakin' irritating la!" *nudges me in the ribs*
Is that in italics too?
*Laugh laugh*
Florence walks by and smacks me in the face with her notes for no apparent reason.
"She must have heard you suaning her just now."
*Laugh laugh*

Physics is over! Time for Maths.

"Ok, you stop it and focus on Maths!"
*I nod head*
Sam sneezes... Aarch! Aarch!
"It has begun!"
Pause. Everyone waits expectantly. But its only two this time.
What? Only twice? What a let down.
Ms Tan passes 'award' to Leonard. (letter to parents for being late 4 times)
*wolf whisles* *clap clap clap*
Wee Kiat grabs paper from Leonard and reads it aloud.
"Dear parents of blah blah blah... We're sorry to inform you that..."
'Sorry'? Ha. I'm sure la.
Leonard grabs his precious award back. String of vulgarities follows.

*grrrrp*
What was that?
Turns to guy on my right... Did you just burp?
"Yup... Excuse me."
Didn't sound like a burp.
"Then what did it sound like?"
Someone snoring.

Tries to pay attention. To no avail.

Lets turn our attention to the guy on my right.

"Cher.. cher...! So all these questions are related ar??"
Ms Tan: Er... Ya, that's why they're called part a, b and c of the same question?

-.-"

To guy on my left.
This guy on my right talks too much.
"Not exactly talk... Makes noise."
Yup. *nod head*
Noise and his repetition of sorry excuses of wrestling taunts.
If you repeat something about 5 times in 3 minutes... It tends to be les humourous?

Tries to pay attention. To no avail

Crap. Guy on my right just started singing.
Cheena pop.
Endure.......
Phew, he stopped. I'm still alive!

Each time he rocks his chair, I have this inatiable urge to grab and tilt it to give him a scare.
Seeing how I've already done it oce to him during the day... I shall not succumb to temptation!

Lesson over!

Aww man.. I sense a prep talk coming up.

Yup.

"Blah blah blah yada yada yada... Your class is a fun class. I believe most teachers would agee that your class is a very fun class. But sometimes you all are too fun! And that makes you very difficult to teach, and it makes us worried!"

*Clap clap clap* *wolf whistles* *blame Hsien Yao*

DOne!

Hangs around class for about half an hour crapping around. Head down to the locker. Do some reading in the library. Wanted to watch the Captain's ball tournament but Mom came to pick me up. Oh well. Dozes off in the car. Then its home sweet home!

Dreaming...

2004-07-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

-Never Had a Dream Come True-

Everybody's got something
They had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
That just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back, oh wondering
How it could be now, or might have been
Oh this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back, oh wondering
How it should be now, or might have been
Oh this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will oh baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back, oh wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye, no no no no

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

This one's for you.

Unexpected Freedom.

2004-07-28T16:15:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to go for Guitar Ensemble today... Either that or support the track finals. Guitar ensem was cancelled... Didn't feel like going all the way down to the National Stadium... Then MJ had some compulsory talk for J1s so Bradley was stuck in school. So we decided not to meet up today. From having 4 options, I was left with 1. To go home. Lolx.
The earliest I've been home since entering VJ. Usually finishing early equals going out or crapping around in school (in the effective disguise of studying). Don't feel like studying. But there's this stupid Econs test on Monday that's so going to ruin my weekend. Hope the ZGMights study on Sunday, then maybe I'll be able to get someone to teach me how to do Data Response Questions and tell me all about Market Failure. Or I'll be a failure indeed.
Lame wave.
Hmmm... Ok, maybe I should do that Chinese composition I was supposed to hand up two days ago. No wait, there's no Chinese tomorrow. Cool... I can survive one more day. Maybe Econs tutorial. Oh, I left that in my locker. Maths? Aww man... Why does it always come down to that? Differenciation... Sigh. Ok, time to start.
Man... Think I'm getting sick.. (aGaIn!). Think I should return to swimming more often to keep my health... But where to find the time??? Hai...

Take the What Fruit Are You?

The one ring...

2004-07-27T21:36:00.000+08:00

Apparently my elfish name is Valandil Helyanwë.
And my hobbit name is Mungo Foxburr of Loamsdown.
Ok, the elfish name is cool. But the hobbit name... Mungo?? Sounds like mango in Chinese! And where in middle-earth is Loamsdown??

.:1739.270704::.

2004-07-27T17:32:00.000+08:00

It a Tuesay again. Always blogging around this time on a Tuesday. Its the only time I'm free... The precious moments between school and drum class. It'll be a Wednesday soon. Then Thursday... Then Friday... Then Saturday! And hopefully I'll be able to go for Youth Service. I've learnt not to hope too much though. Disappointment's directly proportional to the amount of hope you had. Which equals dashed hopes.

But life's full of risks isn't it?

Hmmm... Wait, something looks familiar. Think I'm starting to write like Zhi Sin. Oh yeah.. Speaking of Zhi Sin... Dude! Bring the Physics SPA Booklets! Both booklets! Grab the red and blue booklets stashed away in your pile of unfiled notes and unused books and put them in your, already unzipped, bag! And remember to bring your bag!

Ok, where were we... Ah yes, Youth service. Oh well... The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh.

Hmmm... Worried about her. My heart literally aches when I think of what she's going through. Its not uncommon... Every student has to go through it... I'm going through something similar now... But somehow... Hmm... Don't know how to explain it. Summary and primary emotion is that I'm just worried. Don't know why I'm worrying either. Hope she'll take care of herself.

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Weekend faded

2004-07-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

Really fun weekend for me. Played drums, worship lead, caught a movie... Studied with the ZGMights today at Joy's place. Perfect example of an ideal weekend for me. Work hard, play hard. Too bad such weekends happen like... Once in two months?
Don't know if my Mom will keep to her word and disallow me from attedig Youth service from next week onwards. If she does... Oh well. The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh.
Gotta sleep... School tomorrow. Sigh.

She brightens up my day...

.:1714.230704::.

2004-07-23T17:07:00.000+08:00

Half day! Finished school at 9.30. Vj rocks. Caught 'I-robot' at Cineleisure with my class... Roamed around Orchard. I left early to be back for dinner. Wernie's coming over later.
Don't really have the mood to blog today. Sometimes the problems we face or the little things in our simple lives that make us happy are so pathetically insignificant compared to what others face.
The injustice of it sickens me.

.:2021.220704::.

2004-07-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

Legolas Greenleaf

If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Legolas, Elf, a son of the King of Mirkwood.

In the movie, I am played by Orlando Bloom.

Who would you be?
Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

Ok... Didn't exactly expect to be compared to 'pretty boy of the year'... But oh well. Haha.
Did some studying today. Did less than intended. But it was more difficult than expected (like Zhisin said).
Feeling really lazy this week. Might be because there's nothing much to motivate me anymore. Trying to psyche myself to work with all my heart at all I do... For God... Like Colossians 3.23 and 3.17 states. Still under development though. Giving myself allowance. Time to change one's mindset.
Oh... Why don't I have anything to motivate me anymore? This week's the last week I'll be able to go for Youth Service. The thought of it depresses me. Regrettably... It angers me too. Too much. And I'll only be able to go out with the ZGMights after church once in a while. Tried trading that for being able to go for Youth Service once in a while. Didn't work.
Oh well. While studying in the library... Read this off Wee Kiat's book (Chinese book! Wah seh!).. Something about having less chance to be hurt if you desire less. But isn't the desire to spend time in church a good thing? Well... Logically... You don't have much of a choice, do you? Might as well get rid of that desire if you can't fufil it.
Oh ya... Had "photo taking session" after studying (which accounts for the photo on top...Tell me if you can't see it). Haha. Courtesy of Ah-Neh's phone. Amazing how fast technology advances isn't it?
Joke that brought the most laughter since Teodore's burping nose on Sunday... By Zhisin, "That's so ridiculous, it like me punching you then asking why you hit my hand with your face."

.:1550.210704::.

2004-07-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

Came home early today. Not tired, but feeling really lazy. The drive to work hard's fading... On all of us. Except maybe Andy. Hey! What happened to the decicion to work hard? Haha.
Sometimes I question why I study. Do I want to do it? Nope. Am I good at it? Nope. What's my ambition? No idea. Well, maybe that could be a reason. With better grades, more options will be open to you... so since I haven't decided what I want yet... Better grades would be good. But is it THAT important to me? Nope.
Then there's what my Dad used to tell me when I was young. Whenever I wanted something he couldn't afford, he would say "study hard, and next time your children will have what you didn't". Yeah, that could be one reason for studying hard. So your kid will have a good life when you have a good job. Still... That's so far away that its not much of a motivational factor. Though I did learn more from that phrase that what he intended. Yeah, I'll give my children what I didn't have. A happy family. And I'll treasure my wife beyond anything else on earth.
Is it the job of children to live out the dreams of their parents? Yeah yeah, honour your parents. The difference between my Mom and Dad is that my Dad doesn't set goals for me. He expects me to do my best and keep improving no matter how good I become. My Mom sets goals fo me that are nothing short of perfection. Like 6 points for O's, 4 As for A's... Blah blah blah. Either way, both are never satisfied. Honour your parents? What if your parents don't want you to be Christian. Then what? Ok, so my parents aren't against me being Christian. But they are against me helping out in church. A Christian that doesn't serve? The whole term is contradictory in itself.
I envy pastors, being able to focus fully on God and be absolutely dependent on Him. Perhaps I don't know the full picture yet, but from my point of view, who wouldn't want to be a pastor?
Think I'm typing too much... Should do some work today.

I miss her.

So many break-ups going on around me these few days. Even had a friend who approached me, asking me to pray for him and his sweetie. A non-Christian friend at that. Rough time for their relationship and the toll on him is very obvious. Romatic love complicates life... And I can definitely vouch for how painful it is. But when your heart skips a beat and butterflies flutter in your tummy when you look into the eyes of that someone special... When she shows you the slightest bit of concern... Or even when you see her cry and her tears break your heart... Knowing that you have someone special to care for... Suddenly... Its more than worth the while.

.:1810.190704::.

2004-07-19T18:03:00.000+08:00

Phew. Still struggling to get back on task after an entire Sunday of slacking. Had a whirl of fun at the airport yesterday with Wenhao, Marcus, Chang Yue, Calvin, Vicky and Joshua. Though I had to leave early (aGaIn).
Unpacked my locker today... Loads of filing to do. My two sets of P.E. uniforms are still there. (Washed, unused ones... Tsk tsk... Do you think that lowly of me?) Lolx.
Oh yeah! I got a BIG FAT DONKEY for Economics!! Yay!! Expected an F since it was the subject I studied the least for. But I didn't get an F... Or an O... Got a D!! Thank God! So the summary of my grades would be C, D, E, O. Only passed 3 subjects. Extremely poor, I know, but thank God for the grace he's shown me... Definitely better than I deserve.
Have to do better... I don't see you improving!
Dinner time... Lets rush through the remaining points shall we...
Ah yes, and many thanks to Melvin for the SMS yesterday... Was very timely. Romans 5:3-5.
Oh, and of course... Thanks to choir... We might have a half day on Friday!!! Woo Hoo!

Skates- laid-back, carefree, and very individual
you have a very simple outlook on life. You
easy-going nature makes it easy for you to
handle wwhatever comes your way, though you'd
rather be doing something you enjoy. You still
set and achieve goals, but manage not to get
stressed out about it. [please vote! thank you!
:)]

What Kind of Shoe Are You?(new and updated results!!)
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.:1435.170704::.

2004-07-17T14:25:00.000+08:00

You're a Sapphire. You seem to be unreachable, but
deep inside, you are really a nice and warm
person. You are elegant and get along well with
people once you know them.

What Jewel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bad mood today... Not going to study. What I've been looking forward to the whole week just vanished. I'll sit at my table the whole day if you want but I refuse to read a word. Not a word. I'm sick of it.

.:1728.160704::.

2004-07-16T17:21:00.000+08:00

Woah... New layout for typing our posts. Not like I'll utilise much of the upgrades anyway. Haha. Finished school early today. Project work was cancelled. 2.20!! Good end to a Friday. Killed some time hanging out in the canteen talking about topics I have apparently already forgotten. Then studied for about half an hour. Outside the P.E. department! Thanks to Mr Tan Yew Hwee. That's the worst posible place to study la... No air-con, no fan, no proper lighting! Poor Andy had to study there till 6... Haha. Hope the group of us do well for Promos. We can do it!
Oh yeah... Today Ah loy was saying we should take turns to wear the 2 pairs of identical pair of shoes we have. He wears the Adidas ones on threes and fives... Nike ones on twos and fours. I wear Adidas on twos and fours, Nike on threes and fives. So crap. Haha. Too bad the class already knows we have the same shoes... Bet other people will think we're switching shoes or something.
Hmmm... Have to get some surveys done this weekend. Maybe I'll ask my Mom to bring some to work and get her colleagues to do it. Maybe bring some to church and get the ZGMights to do. Can't believe the government can come up with something as useless and time consuming as project work to take up 10% of our A'Levels! Have the feeling they'll scrap it after a few years. Which will be so totally unfair to the batches who had to do it.
List of things to do this weekend. Hope I can finish. Left aside extra time for Youth Service tomorrow anyway. By faith, I believe I'll be able to go tomorrow.
Oh yeah! Sheldie told me there'll be a Synergiz reunion in September!! So cool! Can't wait. Heard that Synergiz05 has been confirmed too and Planetshakers are coming back! Woo Hoo!!

.:1956.150704::.

2004-07-15T19:49:00.000+08:00

Found this on Mich's blog... Just did it for the sake of having something to do online.

what flavor pocky are you?

[c] sugardew

Mom won't let me study in church on Saturday. Won't let me go for Youth Service. Won't even let me study in school. What's up with that? You want good results but you won't let me study condusively? Thank God for you, nothing tests my patience more.
Obviously by Mcfly playing in my head (or parts of the song I know)... Thanks to Andy and Florence. Haha.

Recently I've been,
Hopefully reaching
Out for this girl,
She's out of this world.
Believe me.

It's been so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
I'm hopin' and wishin'
She's draggin' me in and now
I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no
Never will be good enough for her.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my leeague,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

No, no
I never will be good enough for her

Live by...

2004-07-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men.

.:2125.130704::.

2004-07-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

List of things bought today...
School bookshop:
-Ring file, $3
Trumpet Praise
-Hillsongs (More than Life) CD, $23.90
-Wow worship CD, $23.90
Times the Bookshop
-2 files, $17.30

Plus the $78 shoes from Queensway my Mom bought on Sunday. Woah, that's alot of money.
Ok, so I'm blessed with parents that are financially able and willing to support my high mantainence... Dad complains occasionally... Mom hardly does... And compared to the amount she does about other areas of my life, its almost negligible.
Spending sprees happen about once in two months. I plan what to buy about a week in advance... Usually its anything that caught my eye in the past month. Haha.
Maybe I should set a budget. Maybe.

my chinese sux...

2004-07-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

Didn't really do well for listening comprehension on Saturday... Definitely didn't do well for oral today. Fumbled through most of my words. Had a memory block. Couldn't remember what 'leadership' is in Chinese! Don't know if I can pass Chinese at the end of the year. I'd better.
Didn't get any work done today. Didn't stay back in school to study. First the oral exam... Then we got back our Physics papers. E. What did you put in to deserve better?
Moody.
Predict an O for Economics. Just hope its not an F. Though I probably deserve one with the amount I studied.
Make a decision. Now. Write it down. Its time to pluck up.
Now.

.:1818.120704::.

2004-07-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

:)

You're the classic smiley

You're well-known and always cheery. You're just an all-around friendly person! You are loyal and can be trusted with a secret. Many people admire you.

What online smiley are YOU?!

@ Radiant

what's your inner flower?

[c] sugardew

Got these from Mich's blog. And just when I thought the flower one couldn't get any more gay... I got a purple flower. Hysterical.

My turn!

2004-07-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

After so many people have been doing this... Couldn't help but try.

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

.:2014.110704::.

2004-07-11T20:12:00.000+08:00

Fun Fair! Was playing today... So only got to go to the fun fair around noon. By then the bubble tea was already out of stock! But I heard we earned quite a bit! =0) Didn't get to stay long either... Maybe about an hour at most. Enough to see the chaotic excitement over the 'flying' fishes. Quite hilarious.
Came home and did some discussion with my IPW group. Did some tutorial questions. Mom bought me a new pair of shoes without me asking! Lolx! Have Chinese A'Level oral examination tomorrow. I know the ZGMights will be home late tonight, but if any of you are reading this, please pray for me! (You know what my Chinese is like...)
'The Recruit' is showing on cable tonight. Should I watch it or finish my work? Hmmm... What a rhetorical question... 'Star Movies', here I come!

.:0053.110704::.

2004-07-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

Zhisin, if you're reading this, I forgot to return you your 'circular motion' notes! Will pass it to you on Monday!

Quite sleepy. Came quite close to finishing the work I sent out to do today. Just 1 question short, in fact. Cool eh. This week has been quite productive. Somehow I managed to get both school work and church activities done. And I'm not tired. Thank God. Nothing is impossible with God on your side.

Why do I miss her so?

.:2210.090704::.

2004-07-09T22:03:00.000+08:00

Realised I hardly said anything from my own mind in the previous 2 posts, so I took the opportunity to type this while typing the survey for Project Work.
Having Chinese Listening Comprehension examination for my A's tomorrow. Anyone reading this, please pray for me! Hope I get to play drums in Youth Service tomorrow. Been a while since I last practiced, really losing my touch. Wait... Focus... Get the listening comprehension over and done with first.

What's Love?

2004-07-09T18:43:00.000+08:00

Even if there is someone else who always makes you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival,
your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from
that special someone than other many long e-mails,
you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the
messages in your answering machine because of one message
from that special someone, you are in love.

When you spend all day waiting for "1 message received" to appear on your phone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would
not hesitate to think of that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind,
then u are in love with that person.

If what you think is love fades over time, its not love. Its infatuation.

I'm not infatuated.

Christianity Understood

2004-07-09T18:20:00.000+08:00

Was checking through my overloaded mailbox to delete unwanted messages when I came across this e-mail Michael sent to me a long time ago. A summary of what both Non-Christians and even Christians themselves should see Christianity as.

The next time someone says............"I thought you were
supposed to be a Christian," keep this in mind!

When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not shouting "I'm clean living!"
I'm whispering, "I was lost; now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say "I am a Christian"... I don't speak of this with pride,
I'm confessing that I stumble, and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak, and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed, and need God to clean my mess.

When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible; but God believes I am worth it.

When I say "I am a Christian"... I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches, and so I call upon His name.

When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner, who received God's good Grace,
somehow.

Share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as a reinforcement. But more importantly, share this with those who do not have a clear understanding of what it means to be a Christian, so that the myth that Christians think they are "perfect" or "better than others", can be dispelled.

.:2125.090704::.

2004-07-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

Weekend is almost here!! Discussing with my project work group online... So took the time to type somethig here. Don't really have much time to write... In the middle of discussion... Lolx. Today was productive. Wee!!

.:2058.080704::.

2004-07-07T20:49:00.000+08:00

You beleive in it. But have lost your faith in it.
Youv probably had quite the past with love and
arnt ready to go back to that. You tend to push
people away and because of this no one tries to
get close anymore. Will you ever love again,
maybe someday.

Do You Beleive in Love
brought to you by Quizilla

Hi all! Nothing eventful happened today. Stayed back in school with Andy and Zhisin to study. Though we ended up crappin' and laughing like mad. Made 2 super lame video clips with Andy's new phone. Reminds me of William 7!!! Lolx. Oh yeah, and we were actually debating about the names of the 2 freakin' atomic bombs!! Is it fat boy and little man, or little boy and fat man??? Took us about half an hour to realise, "What the heck are we doing??" Haha! I got my very overdue Maths assignment done and that's about all. Then, went to Parkway with Andy and Charmaine. Bought cologne. Andy bought his cable.
Oh yeah, during Math tutorial today, Paperheart and I found a trend in our tutor's marking. 3 of us in class made exactly the same mistake. For the same question. Left out a statement in induction. By studying the way Ms Tan responded... We can safely conclude that Ms Tan marked my script, then Zhisin's, then Wee Kiat's.
She wrote on my script "You MUST write this statement!"
Then on Zhisin's script, "WHERE IS THE STATEMENT???"
Then on Wee Kiat's script, "YOU MUST WRITE THE STATEMENT IN FULL!!!!!", in extra big font which covered about half the foolscap paper in red ink. And a big red cross! Super duper FArNiE!
Oh ya... But all the fun and laughter aside, Ms Tan asked to see me during recess. She was asking me why I did so badly for Maths. And worst still, she asked me how I think I did for the other subjects. Didn't know what to say, so I just told her honestly that I didn't start revision on time. Haha. Luckily I didn't get a lecture. But still, I think its about time to start plucking up. Or I'm sure to get kicked out of school. Lolx.
Hmmm... Ah yes, took out the links from my sidebar... Decided to make it look neater. Plus, the stupid HTML coding wasn't working well on some computers. Haha. Ok, about time to get some rest... Can't wait for the weekend!

.:1753.070704::.

2004-07-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

You have a problem with letting people in your
life. Your there for your friends but you don't
let them be there for you. Your determined and
independent and probably the person people come
to talk to because your such a great listener.
Remember that it can be good to let things out,
burdens get heavy to bare on your own, trust
me...........Please rate my quiz

Are you a good friend???
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm... Don't know if that's true... Oh well.

Ah... First day of school. Was relatively uneventful. Ate alot of sweets today... Courtesy of Ms Su and Siobhan. And I sooo agreed with Ms Su when she said Christiano Ronaldo's ear-rings look horrible (this is for Denice). I never thought another player in EURO 2004 could be a greater loser than Beckham. But Beckham actually has the brains to wear smaller ear-rings during a match. Plus, why did he have to pick such gay looking ear-rings to show off?
Had some boring talk about National Service today. Just got back. Have to rush for dinner and drum class soon. Then hopefully get home before 10 to get some work done.
Oh yeah... Scored 37 for Maths... Lolx. Better than expected though. And unexpectedly, I wasn't last in class... More failures in my class than I expected. But of course there are muggers like Hsien Yao (yes, this is for you to see) that get 66. Lolx.
Oh yeah... And I found out that we have A' Level Cheena Listening Comprehension exam on Saturday. Hopefully I'll still be able to make it for worship practice. Though I probably won't be able to take a look at the busking at Orchard. Hmmm... Not feeling as bad as I thought about backing out of busking. Probably because it was for church. Come to think of it... Good thing I backed out... Or I won't be able to make it for worship practice this Saturday. Thank God.
Okay... About time for dinner. If anyone has the mp3 of 'King of Majesty' by Planetshakers, SEND TO ME! Was reminded of that song when Sheldon was singing it today. Haha.

School really starts.

2004-07-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

End of holidays, exams and my long weekend. Normal (boring) lessons start tomorrow. Sigh. To do my best for God, looking forward to church and being with the ZGMights on weekends shall be the motivating factors that will drive me through weekdays for now. And will probably be for a very long time. That's good. At least some motivations of my heart have been set right. Its not how good you do, but why you do it.
Celebration Sunday was yesterday! Still a little sour that I couldn't help out in any way, but it was a great service nevertheless. Oh yeah, and youth connection service rocked! Too bad the 40 day campaign is over. =o( But I don't think we'll be having any less fun anyway. Lolx.
Oh yeah... Youths had a stay over at Josh's place last night. Motive was to watch the Euro finals, of course. But ended up playing carem instead since the match was so boring and I found out that I can hardly play that game. Didn't really have a good night's sleep thanks to the floor and lack of blankets, but it was fun nevertheless, a good way to spend Youth Day. Slept little, laughed a whole lot.
Now its time to sleep more...

"Spiderman 2" Rocks!

2004-07-03T09:19:00.000+08:00

Caught it with my class last night, followed by some aimless wandering around Orchard Road and ended up having dinner at Burger King where we laughed more than we ate. Oh yeah, then there was that neoprint thing where 10 of us were squeezing into 1 machine.
Movie was fantastic (Though we went in late because of some people... *ahem*). Much better than the first one, I thought. Fight sequences were exhilarating. Story line was good too. The Bollywood-like parts were a little overdone, but extremely hilarious. Overall, best movie I have watched this year.

June JSP report!!

2004-07-02T10:52:00.000+08:00

Finally dragged my lazy bum to do the report!

Name: Chris Tan
School: Victoria Junior College

3 July 2004

Job Shadowing Program (JSP) 22nd-23rd June 2004

On 22nd June 2004, I reported to the Medical Affairs department of the National University Hospital (NUH) at 8 am. I was brought to ward 64 where I shadowed Medical Officer (MO), Dr. Adrian Khee till Dr. Desmond Wai arrived some time later. Dr. Wai later explained that this was because he wanted Dr. Khee to learn how to access the patients on his own.
The patients I met were mostly elderly or middle-aged. Most were not too happy about being in a hospital. I noticed that many patients were quite dissatisfied with the effort doctors and nurses put in for them. While conversing with Dr Wai, some would slide in numerous hints of wanting to be discharged while others had a string of complaints waiting to be anounced once given the opportunity. I recall a humourous eldely man who muttered an amazing variety of colourful expletives the moment the doctor's back was turned. Impressively multilingual, I thought.
Dr.Wai later on reaffirmed my thoughts when he told me that many patients do not show gratitude to their doctors. Many expect instant recovery or miracle medicine that do not exist. As a doctor, your satisfaction should come from having known that you did what was best for the patient, whether or not your efforts were appreciated. Moreover, there are many illnesses that cannot be cured. Most patients do not understand that.
I realised that being a doctor is not about saving lives. Doctors are human, they do their best to improve lives.
During the ward runs, I also learnt that some patients are actually invited and paid to be examined by MOs. The MOs then write reports on the patient as part of their examination. What an example of 'grasping opportunity'!
In the afternoon, I witnessed Dr Wai perform gastro scopes on some patients, and even 2 liver biopsies that I found extremely distusting. Especially with the second biopsy patient, where the doctor's needle was blocked by the patient's rib. Thankfully, the experienced Dr. Wai immediately stepped in and successfully solved the problem. The gastro scopes, on the other hand, were 'like playing a computer game", as Dr. Wai described. Observing someone's insides on a screen is much less unnerving than being able to touch it. Looking at a persons stomach through a screen was almost like watching something out of Discovery Channel. Except that the owner of the stomach was not a metre away.
Before the end of the day, Dr. Wai shared with me some of his experiences of interviewing medicine applicants. A summary of his valuable advice would be that, as in all interviews, the way you present yourself is extremely important. He also stated that most applicants have the same 'story' for wanting to be a doctor. He pointed out that in order to stand out, do something that counts. Like a research project or working in a polyclinic. That ended my first day of JSP.
The second day was roughly the same, except that I sat through a clinic session in the afternoon. I also witnessed a colonal scope, which Dr Wai explained, was much more complicated than a gastro scope. It was definitely more disgusting, that's for sure. The clinic session was a suitable tone-down towards the end of the JSP. Relatively boring, though I learnt that it is important for a doctor to pick up as many laguages as he can, in order to commuicate better with his patient. Only about a quarter or less of Dr. Wai's patients spoke English! I also witnessed some salespeople from Crestar promoting their drug. I never knew drug companies actually visit doctors in their offices. However, Dr. Wai politely turned down their offers, joking that he "can't sell expensive medicine to poor people". Ethnical battles of a doctor.
Its seems that to be a doctor, you don't just need good brains. More importantly, is a good heart.

.:0925.030704::.

2004-07-02T09:19:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... Classmates going to watch Spiderman 2 today. Feel like going to watch but already have appointment with Brad and Gladwin. Hmmm.. Maybe I could meet them for 3 hours... Lunch and pool.. Then proceed to Lido. Or maybe Gladwin and Bradley might decide on watching it later. But then again, I want to watch with the ZGMights too! But if they watch next week I might not be able to go. Argh... Choices, choices. Or I could just download it and be anti-social? Lolx. Nah, that's out for sure. Think I'll just go with the flow and see where the day leads me. Haha.
Time work on my report...

~Po0f!

2004-07-01T20:32:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah... Forgot to blog about this... There was that blackout thing the other day. Thank God my place wasn't affected. My aunt called me around 10.30pm, when I was buried in Chem notes, telling me to switch off all switches in case the power came back on and the appliances got spoilt. With my brain over saturated with Chem facts, all I could say was "huh???" That's when I found out that about a third of Singapore was having a blackout and there I was in my room with the discman, air-con and both ceiling light and table lamp light on. The things the young take for granted. The next day my friends were complaining about having to cram with candles. Literally burn mid-night oil. Though there are some crazy, deprived people like Hsien Yao who wish the blackout happened at their homes. Lolx. Anyway, guess there are many things we take for granted. Many things we should thank God for!

Its over!

2004-07-01T18:19:00.000+08:00

Yay! Its finally over! Not that I actually studied for it but at least now I can slack without guilt! =o)
Dreading the day we get our results back though. Think my mom will ground me permanently till my promos. Then can become a nerd liaoz... Everyday study, study. Just hope I can pass overall... If I carry on at this rate... Sure to get retained. Wonder what the principal will think... Let this guy come in out of the hundreds that appealed and he gets retained. Lolx. Quite hilarious actually. Then maybe I'll go army or something early like Melvin suggested. Haha.
Chris! This is no laughing matter!
Ha. I'm sure. Ha.
Anyway, summary of my papers... Have no idea how I'll do for GP... Sometimes its ok, mostly fail terribly. Just have to leave it in God's hands. Econs... Didn't study, wasn't planning to depend on that subject anyway. Chem... Only subject I studied. And it turned out to be the most difficult paper. Tough luck. Should have studied for Physics instead. Maths was terrible. Like being in secondary three and doing A Maths all over again. The number of questions I left blank already fail and those I did might not be correct. Haha. Soooo like my sec 3 A Maths. Physics was ok. The easiest paper. Too bad I didn't study. Overall... I should have put in more effort.
Yesterday was studying with Andy in the morning. Before the Chemistry paper. Then we were stuck with so many questions neither of us knew how to answer. Yeah, actually we shouldn't be studying together hor.. Both also hopeless cases. Lolx. Then the Chem MCQ was a killer. Half an hour only. I didn't even read the last 6 questions! Was only halfway through when the teacher said "You have 5 more minutes!!" Then later Andy was saying at that time he still had 15 out of 20 questions to do. Haha. After the exam we were so tired... Then just sat in the canteen stoning. Andy and I tired and demoralised from the exam... Sheldon tired after an afternoon of Physics revision... And demoralised because it wasn't very productive. We were just stoning there looking so blur and forlorn. Come to think of it, must have been quite a hilarious sight. Lolx.
Today was seriously exhaustive. 3 houred Maths. Then did 2 hours of cramming for Physics with Sheldon. Then 3 houred Physics paper. During the Maths paper I had that same hopeless feeling I had when I took A Maths papers in Sec 3 la. Instead of ticking the questions I didn't know how to do, I ticked those I knew. Lolx. Oh ya, then my nose started bleeding in the middle of the exam! So suay.
After the Maths paper we were all looking so sad again. Lolx. Andy was like "I finish exam also no use, no mood to celebrate!" Poor guy. But at least he didn't have to go through another round of exhaustion. My trend of thoughts broke a couple of times during the Physics paper. Towards the end I was literally forcing myself to do the essay questions. So terrible. Hope for A's it'll only be one paper a day.
Anyway, its about time to work on my long overdue report before NUH starts chasing after me. Or worse, my mom starts nagging. Lolx. Meeting Bradley and Gladwin for lunch tomorrow... Probably play some pool or catch "Spiderman 2". If I don't catch it with this long weekend, probably won't get the chance to after that. Oh yeah... And meeting Sheldon to go to the library and get some Chinese books. Have to do my Chinese holiday homework too.
Then church on Saturday and Sunday... Can't wait to see the ZGMights dance. Then the Euro finals thingy on Sunday night. Still can't decide whether or not to go. Stay up late just to watch a couple of men who are paid millions to chase a ball...... Chase after a ball. Maybe I'll go if alot of 'non-soccer' people go. Have to fully utilise the long weekend after all. Might be going to Jon's house on Monday though. Then can try out his drum set. Hope I won't be half dead by then. Cool... 4 day event-filled loooong (this is to irritate all you working people or those that have school tomorrow) weekend!

C major - the simplest key. You are content with
where you are now, you have what you need. Some
people are happy in C major, but it is up to
you to decide to push yourself further if you
want more from your life.

what key signature are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Chem.

2004-06-30T19:42:00.000+08:00

Chemistry was tough. Very tough. And it was the only subject I studied for. Still found it so tough. Miss O'levels.
Oh well... 1 more day to go! Nobody seems to want to watch Spiderman 2...

Spiderman

2004-06-29T17:51:00.000+08:00

ANYONE WANNA WATCH SPIDERMAN 2 ON THURSDAY???
Fine print: We'll catch the later shows since most people have school and work. The possible timings we might go for are: 6.30, 7.20 and 8.30pm.

A Thought

2004-06-29T15:18:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine was deciding on how much he was willing to spend to get a birthday present for this girl he fancies. He was wondering why he's willing to part with so much money (his budget wasn't a small one) to get someone's attention. Then I was saying that maybe he should be getting the gift not for her attention but more with the motive of making her happy. Then he asked me how far I would be willing to go to make the girl I like happy. Then I was like "er... Dunno?"
But on the bus ride home I was thinking to myself... Sometimes when you love someone, you just want the person to be happy. Perhaps true love only exists when you're happy even when the girl you love chooses someone else. You're happy because she's happy. Yup.. That will be my definition of the highest standard of true romantic love. But any standard of love should never fade. If it does, its called infatuation.

Exam week

2004-06-29T14:55:00.000+08:00

Phew... GP yesterday was a killer. Econs was hopeless... But I only started studying two days before the exam, so that's not really a subject I was planning to depend on. So guess its ok. Taking a break today. Tomorrow's Chemistry. Really have to do well for that... Hope the paper won't be too difficult. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. Can't wait for this week to be over. Long weekend this week since there's no school on Friday. Plus Jerry's coming back. Plus hopefully I'll be watching 'Spiderman 2' soon. Woo hoo!

Job Shadowing Programme (JSP)

2004-06-27T15:31:00.000+08:00

Haven't found the time to write the report on the JSP I had this week. Have to write it soon or Medical Affairs will start chasing me for it. Haha. Anyway, here's the report I wrote on the first JSP I had in March.

Name: Chris Tan
School: Temasek Junior College

RE: Job Shadowing Program (JSP)

My JSP lasted from the 23rd to 25th of Febuary 2004. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I had to return to school on the 25th and missed the third day of the program.

Monday, 23rd Febuary.

I reported at medical affairs at 8.30am and was brought to the operating theatre (OT) at the main building. There, I met Assoc Professor K Phraba for the first time. A man who's mind and respect deserved were inversely proportional to his physical stature. He got me fitted into proper operating wear and we proceeded into one of the rooms where an operation was just about to start. He examined the patient (a baby) while I was introduced to some of the other doctors. When all the equipment had been prepared, the operation started and immediately an aura of concentration filled the room. I was silently startled when they applied a reddish-brown substance to the patient's chest. I later found out from Dr Dale Loh (who told me to address him as Dale) that it was iodine used to kill bateria on the skin near the operating area. That was one thing we definitely could not have found out from television.

When the first incision was made, I braced myself for disgust. However, it was alot less scary than I thought it would be. It proved as interesting as I thought it would be and also much more boring as time dragged on. It was an operation on the patients chest, where I got a close look of the patient's liver and the easily distinguishable small intestines (which, as the Prof told me, any 'market person' could recognise). When the stichings were made, the skillful hands of experienced Prof Phraba were visibly swifter, gentler and more steady than the younger doctors. Whoever said surgeons were born and not made?

Later on, we proceeded to the staff lounge for some snacks and a brief skim of the newspaper before proceeding back to the OT for the next operation. The next operation was a hyperspadius operation. Dr Loh explained to me the condition of the patient and what the surgeons were about to do to solve it. He then ensured that I had a position to stand with an unobstructed view of the operational procedures, before he left for a while. Althought I knew that in theory, the doctors would use excess skin from the hood and tubilarise it to form a ureathea, I could not see it happening in the operation! They talk about a surgeon's hands, but I personally think its the eyes.
The second operation was longer than the first and I was quite exhausted after it. I could only imagine what surgeons like the Prof go through when they have one operation after the other and my building respect for them further increased. I left that day with a mind filled with memories of a productive day, which would last me a long time.
Tuesday, 24th Febuary
I headed to ward 48 at 8.30 in the morning, where I met Dr Loh and the rest of Prof's team, though the Prof himself was not present. I followed them around the wards as they saw the patients who were operated on the previous day, as well as some previous and new patients. After we left each room, Dr Loh explained to me the condition of the patient and how to doctors solved it. After the ward runs we headed to the cafeteria to meet the Prof. We had some drinks, after which I followed Dr Loh to the clinic. Again, after seeing each patient, he would tell me of the condition of each patient and also how frequently it affects patients, or children and adult. For example, I learnt that operations for appendicitis are one of the most frequent. We also discussed the pros and cons of being a doctor. After spending the whole moring there, we proceeded for a late lunch (I realised doctors are so busy they lose their sense of urgency for eating). Though this day was relatively uneventful, I learnt alot more, medically, from Dr Loh.

I remember one patient from the clinic vividly, as I could tell he was my age from his uniform, but mainly because the way he conversed with Dr Loh was almost as though they were friends. I later found out that Dr Loh had operated twice on that patient and knew him well enough to tell me that he was 'a nice boy but very anxious about things'. This was when I realised that being a doctor did not just mean being smart and having superb social skills to handle patients from all walks of life. Rather, it was about building bonds with patients, developing a friendship, to an extent. As Prof Phraba told me on the very first day, "being a doctor is not the job for you if you're looking for the 'big bucks'. Being a doctor is all about compassion."

Right brain left brain...

2004-06-27T15:29:00.000+08:00

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (42%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (56%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

42% and 56%... Why is there 2 % missing from my brain???

.:1131.270604::.

2004-06-26T11:24:00.000+08:00

Everybody's got something,
They had to leave behind.
One regret from yesterday,
That just seems to grow with time.

There's no use looking back or wondering,
How it could be now
Or might have been.
All this I know
But still I can't find ways to let you go.

There's no use looking back or wondering,
Because love is a strange and funny thing.
No matter how I try and try,
I just can't say goodbye.

I've never had a dream come true,
Till the day that I found you.
Even though I pretend that I've moved on,
You'll always be my baby.
I've never found the words to say,
You're the one I think about each day
and I know no matter where life takes me to,
A part of me will always be with you.

Short post for a long day.

2004-06-23T20:32:00.000+08:00

Had my last day of job shadowing today. Really tired, so I won't be writing much. Maybe I'll talk about the job shadow tomorrow. Have to write a report on it anyway. Maybe I'll just copy and paste the report here... Lolx. No time to study liaoz. No motivation to study either. Memorised Colossians 3:17 and 3:23-24 in hope that it would motivate me to study... But so far the effects haven't been noticeable... Haha. Everyone's blog contains how much they're looking forward to dance practices... I feel like if I had something fun like that to look forward to, studying would be alot easier. Oh well, be tahnkful for what you have...

Funny!

2004-06-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

Try this if u have time... A little lame... But really funny. Courtesy of Melvin.

1) Go to Google.com. (www.google.com)

2) Type in "weapons of mass destruction" but don't hit the enter button.

3) Instead, hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button next to the normal Google "Search" button.

4) An "ERROR MESSAGE" appears.

Quiz (Again)

2004-06-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Type 3	Image Awareness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Type 4	Sensitivity	\|\|	10%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%

Your Conscious-Surface type is 9w1
Your Unconscious-Overall type is 9w1

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Here's some other quiz I got from Joy's blog also... I have no idea how they know all that just by asking what food you like to eat. Oh well, most of it is true anyway. Except for the useful advice part... That you'll have to ask my friends... Haha.

Chris. You like to be helpful and are generous with your time, so friends often come to you when they have problems. You are very patient and thoughtful, and you give your friends useful advice every time.
You're very careful and circumspect in all matters but you won't face any problems until they actually happen. Also you're a kind and sensitive person.
You are logical, smart and inventive. Sometimes you are too cold and selfish.

Your sign of frustration is....Well, nothing. You
never get frustrated, which is very odd.
Nothing bothers you, and you act very sensible
when you are faced with a problem. Remember
though, that it is alright to get frustrated on
certain occasions, for it is only natural.

What sign of frustration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmm... That's not really true sometimes...

How to make a spunkii

Ingredients:

3 parts intelligence

1 part brilliance

5 parts leadership

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

JSP

2004-06-22T16:17:00.000+08:00

Just got back... Went for job-shadowing today at NUH. Had special treatment from the doctors because my mom's working in medical affairs. Haha. Was shadowing Dr Desmond Wai.. Liver specialist and consultant. And he was RJ's top student (WoAh!). Saw the stomachs of about 6 people today. Haven't felt hungry since. Lolx. Have to go for drum lessons soon.

To know you.

2004-06-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

Thomas needed prove that you have really risen. Undefeated. When he placed his fingers where the nails once broke your skin, did his faith finally begin. I've lied if I've denied the common ground I've shared with him.

Nicodemus could not understand how you could truely free us. He struggled with the image of a grown man born again. We might have been good friends because sometimes I still question to how easily we come to you.

But I... I really want to know you. I wanna make each day a different way that I can show you how. I really want to love you. Be patient with my doubt, I'm just trying to figure out your will. And I really want to know you still.

Oh no.. No time liaoz...

2004-06-21T19:55:00.001+08:00

Last week of holidays. Exam starts on the first day of school. Sort of nearing the confirmation that I won't be able to finish revision in time. Oh well.. Haha. At least I don't feel stressed out anymore. Thank God for that. And a big 'thank you' to everyone who has been there for me. A shout to Melvin, Jon, Mich, Vicky, Joy and my other friends who have spent time with me, cheering me up one way or the other, even without knowing I was down. Though I'm one that prefers to be on my own when I have problems, it helps alot knowing that I have friends who will not hesitate to lend a helping hand or dish out some timely advice. Thank God for all of you crazy people!